


everything you see (ain’t always what it seems)

by autumnchills



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bets & Wagers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Dates, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Protective Maddie Buckley, Sad Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Sad Evan "Buck" Buckley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29080893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnchills/pseuds/autumnchills
Summary: He was used to being the guy that people took home and never the guy that people wanted to meet their parents. He was used to being the guy that people ogled at the bar and he was very accustomed to the feel of strangers undressing him with their eyes.Never in a million years had he thought he’d be that person to his best friend.—Buck had never thought that his best friend would like him back, but at the end of their date night, he’s in for a rude awakening when he learns just how he ended up there with Eddie. Things only get more confusing when Eddie seems to be mad at him in the aftermath.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 61
Kudos: 494
Collections: 9-1-1 Server Gift Exchange 2020





	everything you see (ain’t always what it seems)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jecari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jecari/gifts).



> **Timeline Reference:** Post Season 3 — no COVID
> 
> Special Thank You to my Beta Reader [MyShipSailsHere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyShipSailsHere/pseuds/MyShipSailsHere)! 
> 
> Title taken from [“Wide Awake”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3D5FwwtNVM) by Katy Perry
> 
> Written for [Jecari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jecari/pseuds/Jecari) for the 9-1-1 Server Gift Exchange! Hope you enjoy! I haven’t gotten this angsty in a minute haha!

Buck never thought that dreams could come true. Things going _right_ was just too much of a foreign concept to him in the past couple of years.

After Red, Buck had accepted that things just don’t work out for people sometimes. Between Abby and Ali leaving him, and the truck explosion, the embolism, and even the tsunami, Buck wasn’t sure things would work out for him either. At times, it felt like the universe was out to get him, and there was the very real possibility that he too would end up alone, always wondering about the one who got away and left behind by the people most important to him. 

Sure, the 118 had become family, but it didn't change that at some point when everyone was retired and living their lives, there would come a day when they all stopped reaching out to each other. It wouldn’t be a sudden thing; it would be gradual. And only Buck would notice because he’d be the only one without someone else to occupy his time. 

It was hard to imagine, realistically, that anyone would bother to keep in contact with him for so long. Even his parents had let go once he started doing his own thing.

Loneliness was inevitable if he didn’t find a family of his own outside of work, which was why falling for Eddie ruined all hope he had of avoiding it. 

Buck didn’t know when it’d happened, but Eddie had become so ingrained in his life that he couldn’t imagine a future in which he wasn’t there. At work, he and Eddie were magnets, moving wherever the other went. They had each other’s backs like no one else and knew exactly how the other worked, making everyday rescues quick and often effortless. Outside of work was the same. The two best friends had a majority of the same free time, so working out plans didn’t come with much difficulty. If free time landed on a Friday or the weekend, drinks were nearly always guaranteed. During the week, Eddie’s free days were dedicated to Christopher. Though, none of this meant that Chris never ended up mixed up in their plans or that Buck didn’t sometimes join in on their weekdays together either. 

Their lives were just that intertwined, and imagining a life in which they weren’t anymore _sucked_. He sure as hell couldn’t imagine what it would be like if Eddie actually got a girlfriend.

But it wasn’t something he dwelled on if he could help it. He knew that Eddie didn’t feel the same for him— was certain he’d have caught on or seen some hint of attraction.

He’d voiced as much to Hen before, in a near drunken state of self pity. He hadn’t meant to say anything, but finally sharing everything had been a weight off of his chest. 

It felt like a joke when she said that she was sure Eddie had feelings for him, too. She’d told Buck that he may not see it because Eddie seemed pretty intent on hiding it from him, but there was no missing the love on Eddie’s face when he looked at Buck.

He refused to believe her, and despite her insistence, he also refused to make any moves to find out for sure. Eddie had a kid, and sure Buck was a great adult figure in Christopher’s life, but was he someone that Eddie would want as another parent for his child? Would Buck fit into their lives like that? It’d be selfish of him to try and ask Eddie out and risk the friendship they’d built, risk the stability in both Eddie and Christopher’s life. 

He wasn’t sure if things could ever go back to normal if he crossed that line and found that his feelings weren't reciprocated, and a fractured relationship between them would take a toll on his and Christopher’s relationship, too.

Luckily, Buck was fine with their current normal. He’d been okay with his friendship with Eddie and accepted that it was all he’d ever have. It was enough, and it’d have to stay that way. The only chance of things changing was if someone else was to come in and sweep him off of his feet. Even though it was a highly unlikely event, he was still open to the idea. 

(It wasn’t like Buck hadn’t tried dating, either. It’s just that no one was Eddie.)

But, come early November, on a bright Tuesday morning, it was Eddie who made a move. 

It had been nearing the end of their shift when Eddie caught Buck in the locker room, just before the younger man could leave.

“Hey, Buck,” Eddie called as he entered the locker room. Buck already had his duffle together and was tying up the laces on his shoes.

Buck had looked up at him and smiled. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to ask you something,” Eddie began, nervously. Buck furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at the hesitation in his friend’s voice.

“For sure,” Buck shrugged. “Ask away.”

Eddie stepped over to him slowly and sat beside him on the bench. He gave Buck a gentle nudge as they brushed shoulders, and Buck nudged back, smiling as he finished tying his laces.

“I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me on Friday?”

Buck could only blink, having been expecting something else entirely. He turned to face him now.

“Yeah, of course, man. Were you thinking barbecue or order some take—”

“Wait,” Eddie said before Buck could get away with making the plans. “Just to be clear, I mean at a restaurant, with just us.”

“Oh,” Buck said, only somewhat startled. “Not your place? No Chris?” 

“No,” Eddie chuckled and looked— dare Buck say— almost like he was blushing. “I figured that it could be just the two of us for our first date?”

Buck sucked in a sharp breath. 

That—

He couldn’t be hearing right. 

“A date?” Buck asked nervously. “You want to go on a date with me?” 

“Yeah,” Eddie shrugged, trying and failing at nonchalance. “That is if you want to go on a date with me.”

“Yes!” Buck blurted, then shook his head trying to calm himself down. “I mean, of course. I just… I—?” Buck fumbled with his own words and his eyes blinked rapidly as he tried to catch up with his racing thoughts. “I didn’t know you liked me,” he finally admitted. 

“I do,” Eddie said, very insistently. “I like you more than I know how to handle, Buck. And I’ve known that you like me, too—” 

Buck’s heart leaped at that, but he was quick to reign in his emotions. 

“—because Chimney has been on my ass to just make a move, but I just…” Eddie trailed off with a shrug. “I’ve never properly dated a guy before. Hell, I haven’t dated anyone since before I met Shannon. I—” 

Eddie cut himself off and let out a frustrated huff.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Eds,” Buck said calmly. 

“I was scared,” Eddie continued anyway. “I wanted to get this right.”

Buck could only nod back, all too aware of the feeling and still in shock. 

Never in his wildest dreams had he thought that Eddie would feel the same way, yet here he was hearing it all for himself. 

“Friday?” he’d confirmed softly. 

“Friday,” Eddie said. 

* * *

The date was perfect, for lack of a better word. Eddie had chosen a nice Italian place where he’d made a reservation. He’d even insisted on paying. Buck didn’t put up an argument on that, figuring that he’d let Eddie have tonight, but he was quick to tell him that they were going to have to take turns in the future or start splitting. 

And wasn’t that something, too? Buck was nervous when he brought up the future bills, scared that he’d assumed too much too soon, but Eddie had taken it in stride and teased that it wouldn’t be fair with the size of the plates that Buck liked to order.

It was like any other time they hung out, yet so different. There was their usual banter, but they were also openly affectionate in a way that they’d never been comfortable being before. Buck had taken the first step when he commented on how good Eddie looked in his outfit (and he’d definitely cataloged the fact that Eddie was wearing either a new shirt or one that he’d never seen before), and Eddie had ducked his head shyly before returning the compliment. 

At dinner, their hands found each other on the table, and it wasn’t even a particularly romantic gesture. They’d played _thumb war_ of all things while they waited on their appetizers with Buck asking how Christopher was doing with his latest science unit in school and Eddie asking about how Maddie was with her pregnancy. 

Appetizers brought on what should have been an awkward conversation but wasn’t even in the slightest. Buck wasn’t sure how they’d ended up talking about what they wanted for the future, but they’d done it. If he thought hard, he could probably trace it back from one tangent to another to see how they got there, but it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that Buck and Eddie were both on similar pages with their future— the kind of life they wanted to live, the kind of family they wanted to have. 

Buck had always known that he and Eddie were on the same wavelength, and maybe it was naive to think it, but this had made Buck feel like maybe they were on the same path, too. 

By the end of dinner, he’d seen a whole new side of Eddie. 

Dessert came with conversation just as sweet. Buck was pretty sure Eddie tried flirting, and it honestly hadn’t been the smoothest, but damn was it endearing. What wasn’t as cute was Eddie smearing chocolate mousse onto his nose, but Buck made up for it by sweeping some across his cheek. 

The two of them wore looks that expressed shock over the fact that they had actually done that in such a nice restaurant and rushed to wipe it off of their faces with stifled laughter. 

Then, after all was said and done, Buck drove Eddie home, their hands intertwined the entire ride.

“This was nice,” Eddie said with a thumb stroking the backside of his own. “New, but nice.”

At Eddie’s house, Eddie nearly got out of the truck, but Buck had locked the doors faster than Eddie could understand what was happening, and dashed around to his side of the Jeep to open his door. 

Eddie laughed and then started shaking his head and said, “Never again, Buck. I can get my own damn doors.”

“But it’s our first date,” Buck insisted. “I’m supposed to be wooing you.”

“But I asked _you_ out,” Eddie countered. “Isn’t that my job?” 

“I’m just trying to be a gentleman.” Buck raised his hands in mock surrender. “Do you prefer I be an ass? I can be an—” 

Eddie interrupted him with a kiss. Buck didn’t waste a second, bringing his hands up to Eddie’s face and pressing his body closer.

Buck wasn’t sure who pulled away first, but they stood still for a moment under nothing but the moonlight as they inhaled each other. Eddie could still smell mint on Buck’s breath from the Altoid he took after their meal.

“Hey,” Eddie said. “It was very nice to meet you tonight, Buck.”

Buck’s million-watt grin spread across his face.

“You too, Eds.”

To walk away then felt almost wrong, not with the way Eddie had stared into his eyes with something more than _like_. Love or lust, Buck couldn’t tell, but it was encompassing. It flayed him open and wrapped around Buck’s heart and squeezed. 

So, when he was halfway down to his car and Eddie invited him in, he accepted. 

They were only two sips into their beers when Eddie made space for himself between Buck’s legs and pressed him into the kitchen counter. By the time his mouth found Buck’s neck, Eddie’s hand was already snaking below his shirt and exploring the expanse of his back muscles. 

“Chris—” he’d started to say. 

“Is at his Abuela’s,” Eddie finished. 

That was all the assurance Buck needed. 

The press of Eddie’s fingertips all over his body made him dizzy with want. When Eddie took control, pulling him toward the bedroom, he went with ease. All he’d ever wanted was right in front of him, beckoning him to step forward and take another leap. 

He let Eddie arrange him as if he was a sculptor and Buck was but a sculpture being put together piece by piece. Eddie looked down at him like he was a fucking work of art and, at that moment, Buck decided that it’d be okay if Eddie took him apart, too. 

And Eddie did. 

In the afterglow of it all, Buck can still hardly believe it.

Eddie, his best friend and the man he loves, is sprawled across him, cheek pressed to his chest and running a finger across his torso, drawing shapes that raise goosebumps in their wake.

Pressed so close, Buck knows Eddie can hear his racing heart still trying to calm. He can _feel_ Eddie’s. 

It’s a thrill to know that he can make him feel like this. 

A giggle escapes Buck’s lips before he can think to suppress it, and Eddie looks up at him. His smile doesn’t fade, but a quirked brow joins the look he receives. 

“What?” Eddie asks, voice low and rough. It’s _hot_ and stirs something low in Buck’s gut. He’s too blissed out to act on it, nor come up with a proper response, so he just shrugs his shoulders and smiles back at Eddie in return.

Eddie accepts that and rests his head again. Within minutes, his breathing slows and his fingers stop moving. He lets out a content sigh and Buck can feel his muscles loosen to relax more against him. 

Then, on the edge of consciousness, he says, “Easiest twenty bucks I’ve ever made,” just above a whisper.

And… _what?_

All of the warmth disappears from Buck’s body as cold takes over. Uncertainty makes his heart skip a beat. 

“What?” he manages to ask with an even voice. 

Eddie hums in response, barely awake. 

Buck pushes up onto one elbow and looks down at him. The man barely stirs, so Buck gives him a light shove. 

“Eddie,” he whispers harshly. “What did you say? What twenty bucks?” 

Eddie startles a bit but still seems closer to sleep than wakefulness.

“It was just a small bet,” he mutters, then scrunches his eyebrows. “Dare? I’m not sure what exactly what it waa…” Eddie drifts off and sighs. “But here you are. I win.” He says it so simply, as if there isn’t anything more to it, as if he hasn’t just essentially said he made twenty dollars to get Buck here.

Buck can hardly believe the words that Eddie had just said.

Once again his heart is racing, but now for a whole new reason. Shame rolls through him in tidal waves, and it takes everything in him not to shove Eddie off of him. His thoughts spiral in too many directions, trying to comprehend. What the hell had compelled his best friend to accept a bet involving him at all?

Twenty fucking dollars?

Is that all he’s worth to Eddie? 

_No,_ Buck mentally shakes himself. That couldn’t be it. Eddie had asked him on a _date_. He’d been nervous and admitted that he was scared. They’d gone out to eat and spent time hanging out together in a way that they hadn’t before. It’d been fun and they’d flirted. They’d held hands like some high school crushes. 

Eddie had said he _liked_ Buck. 

Doubt replaced the heat in his gut and twisted his insides. 

What if it’d all been to get Buck here?

Eddie _had_ invited him in, and they’d barely spoken but a couple of words before he was on Buck, pressing his lips against every exposed inch of his body. 

Then he’d led him to bed where Buck had let himself be vulnerable because he trusted Eddie, just like he trusted everyone who came before and used him like this. 

Was the bet some joke from a couple of guys at the station? What all did it entail? 

It didn’t _sound_ like something Eddie would do, but he’d admitted it himself.

 _But here you are,_ he’d said. 

The crash of reality hurts Buck beyond words, and the ache in his chest only grows with the tears in his eyes. 

It’s something he was used to. He was used to being the guy that people took home and never the guy that people wanted to meet their parents. He was used to being the guy that people ogled at the bar and he was very accustomed to the feel of strangers undressing him with their eyes. 

He admits that sometimes that made him feel good. But sometimes, people would leer at him and Buck felt gross, _dirty_. After years of attempts to find a relationship, years of people only ever wanting sex, Buck had been convinced that all he’d ever be to people was a hot body to fuck. 

Never in a million years had he thought he’d be that person to his best friend. 

He knows he should go, but even now, in the face of this truth, it’s hard to pull away from Eddie.

But he does. Eddie falls asleep and Buck slips out from underneath him. He’s careful not to jostle him too much because he doesn’t want the man to wake up and ask where he’s going. He doesn’t want Eddie to try and stop him. 

He slips on his clothes as quietly as possible and moves swiftly and quietly toward the door.

Buck looks back at the man and all he can see is everything he thought he had. He sees everything they could have had. He sees Eddie’s face across from him at dinner, lights twinkling in the reflections in his eyes. He sees Eddie’s hand in his and the way Eddie smiled when Buck said something ridiculous that no one would usually care about. 

And he kisses it goodbye. 

* * *

When Buck has something to look forward to, like work or plans with friends, it’s never a chore for him to get up, to go on about his day taking care of bodily and hygienic needs. But the feeling that’s making a home in his chest comes with a weight that he can’t lift. 

Sleep comes easy to him like this. It makes it easier for his mind to wander and focus on anything but Eddie. It makes it easier to _not_ focus. So, when he wakes up sometime after 9:00 to three new messages from Eddie, he closes his eyes and pulls his comforter over his head in an attempt to shield himself from the world. 

He manages to drift off for another couple of hours. When he wakes next, his eyes are puffy and the hurt remains. 

He can’t ignore everyone, though, so he begrudgingly picks up his phone and checks the messages. There are a couple more from Eddie now, but there are a few from Maddie as well. 

He shifts through the meaningless social media notifications and opens Maddie’s messages first. 

_How was the date?  
_ **Maddie • 10:17 AM**

_You’re not responding… Don’t tell me you stayed the night?_ 👀  
**Maddie • 10:42 AM**

_Okay, respond or I’m coming over. Eddie just called me to ask if we had some sort of family emergency and wouldn’t explain why. Was the date so bad that you left?  
_ **Maddie • 11:03 AM**

Maddie’s last message is from over twenty minutes ago, so chances are that she’s already on her way over and, despite the fact that Buck really doesn’t want to deal with his sister’s questions, the thought of one of her hugs is really comforting. 

Buck shoots her a response to let herself in when she gets here then opens Eddie’s messages. 

_hey, where’d you go?  
_ **Eddie • 8:52 AM**

_was there some sort of family emergency?  
_ **Eddie • 8:57 AM**

_i had a lot of fun last night. i’d like to do it again.  
_ **Eddie • 9:07 AM**

_okay, if you’re ignoring me, fine. can you at least tell me if you’re okay?  
_ **Eddie • 10:22 AM**

_just spoke to maddie. considering there’s no emergency, that was a dick move buckley  
_ **Eddie • 11:00 AM**

Buck throws the phone back onto his nightstand and promptly groans into his pillow. 

How the hell was Eddie upset about Buck leaving? 

Granted, there’s the chance that Eddie doesn’t remember telling him about the bet, but it doesn’t change what happened. It doesn’t change the fact that the “bet” existed at all. 

_But here you are. I win._

The words echo in his head and have him pressing his hands to his eyes. 

He refuses to shed another tear over Eddie. 

Not even five minutes later, a loud knock reverberates through the apartment, making Buck’s body jolt. It’s louder than Maddie usually is, but it’s expected if she’s set on seeing him. 

A second knock has Buck pushing out of his bed and dragging himself down the stairs. She must have forgotten her key. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” he calls. 

He straightens his sleep shirt as he takes the last few steps toward the door, preparing for Maddie’s onslaught of questions. 

He is most definitely not prepared to see Eddie. Eddie who looks as amazing as he always does, but is wearing an unreadable expression. It used to be that Buck could take one look at his best friend and see that something was wrong— was practically able to tell _what_ was wrong. Right now he felt like he couldn’t read him at all. Had that changed overnight? Had they really disconnected so fast?

He stands in shock for a second under Eddie’s judging glare before Eddie pushes his way past him into the apartment. Buck only has half a mind to shut the door before he follows after Eddie. 

“Glad to see you’re okay,” Eddie spits as he comes to a stop by the table. “No call, no text, no note. I know we’re not freaking married, but I expected a little more from you, Buck.” 

Angry can’t begin to describe what Buck feels right now. He stands near him at the counter, arms folded across his chest, practically holding himself together. 

“That’s really rich, coming from you,” Buck spits back, equally as annoyed as Eddie. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Eddie questions. 

“It means—” Buck stops himself. 

Because it hurts. It hurts to be here with Eddie after last night. Buck had given Eddie a lot more than his body when they had sex, and he isn’t sure if he’ll ever get that piece of himself back. 

Holding back tears and swallowing his rage hurts. The pressure builds in his head, but he does his best to hold himself in check anyway. 

He’s always had Eddie’s back, and Eddie had his. Even if they’d never taken the step past friendship, there was always going to be something more. It was always supposed to be them against the world for as long as Eddie would keep him around. 

But he won’t stick around if Eddie only wants one thing. 

“It means get the fuck out,” he says, heated and teetering on breaking.

Eddie’s clearly not expecting the demand if the way he physically steps back is anything to go by. 

“What—”

“I swear to God, Eddie. I’m not doing this right now.”

Hurt flickers in Eddie’s eyes, but consumed by his own, Buck doesn’t catch it. 

Eddie steps forward just as the apartment door swings open. 

Behind Eddie, Buck sees Maddie stepping in, but his eyes flick back to Eddie as he reaches out for Buck. 

“Buck—” Eddie tries.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Buck growls, pulling himself away and unintentionally backing into the island.

It’s enough for Maddie to freeze. The greeting she was about to say dies on her lips as she takes in the scene. Her critical gaze flits between them. 

“What the hell is going on here?” she asks, voice raised and more serious than Eddie’s ever heard from her.

Eddie fumbles for words. “I was just trying to talk to—”

“Talk?” Maddie interrupts him, walking forward. She glances at Buck, and it only takes him a second to realize what this might look like to her. 

“This isn’t anything,” Buck says, defeated, before Eddie can respond. “He’s leaving.”

“Buck…” Eddie tries again. “I don’t understand.”

“Go,” Maddie says, this time from beside him. 

Eddie gawks at Maddie for a moment, and Buck almost feels bad, but he knows he deserves better. He deserves not to be treated like a pawn in a game.

Even if Eddie never liked him as more than a friend, he should have known that Buck didn’t just fuck around anymore. He should have known that when Buck said yes, he was saying yes to more than just a date. He was saying yes to a potential future— _their_ future. 

Eddie should know him well enough to know that this isn’t something he can just bounce back from. 

“Buck,” Eddie says one more time.

“Eddie,” Maddie warns, her eyes going dark and threatening. 

Eddie ignores her. “I can’t leave knowing that Buck is hurting like this! And, apparently, I’m the cause? Maybe there was some misunderstanding because, from my point of view, I’m the one who should be mad.”

Maddie watches as Buck goes from looking like a kicked puppy to a rottweiler ready to attack. 

“You’re the one who should be mad?” Buck asks like it’s the most scandalous thing he’s ever heard. “In what world—”

“You left!” Eddie yells indignantly, cutting him off. “How the hell am I not allowed to be mad? I tell you I like you, we go on a fucking date, and afterward, we have sex and you—” Eddie cuts himself off, and this time Buck can’t miss the fact that Eddie is hurting too. He just doesn’t understand why. 

“You looked at me like I was your whole fucking world,” Eddie continues, voice trembling with the intensity behind his words. “And I thought I was the luckiest man alive.” 

Eddie sighs, sucking in a harsh breath and rubbing at his eyes. “I’m fucking hurt, Buck. Is that what you want to hear? What do you want me to do?”

“Why are you hurt?” Buck questions, voice soft and searching, trying to understand. “You say this all now, but last night you gave me the distinct impression that all you wanted to do was fuck me, and well, mission accomplished!” 

Several emotions flash across Eddie’s face that Buck can barely keep up with. 

“What the hell did I do that gave you that impression? I— I—?” Eddie blinks rapidly as if trying to think through everything that happened. “Last night was _everything_ to me, Buck.” 

“And the twenty dollars?” Buck challenges. “The bet you made? Does that ring any bells?”

Eddie’s eyes widen and beside him, Maddie’s mood shifts from anger into something more soft and sad. 

“Oh, sweetie,” she says to Buck. 

Buck flashes her a look of confusion as Eddie drags both hands across his face.

“Fuck,” Eddie says. 

“Eddie,” Maddie says, making Eddie turn to her, “don’t tell me you told him and didn’t explain—”

“Explain what?” Buck asks harshly. 

“I didn’t mean to tell hi—” Eddie turns to Buck again. “I didn’t mean to tell you that,” he says earnestly. “And I am so sorry, Buck.” 

“What the hell are you guys talking about?” Buck asks, more serious this time. 

“The bet,” Eddie says. “It wasn’t— What did I say?”

“Of course, you don’t even remember,” Buck scoffs. 

“What did I say?” Eddie presses again. 

Buck blushes, remembering his sister’s presence. 

“After we had sex,” Buck mutters, head bowed and unable to meet Eddie or Maddie’s gazes, “when you were falling asleep, you said it was the easiest twenty bucks you’d ever made.”

“Eddie!” Maddie gasps. “You idiot!” 

“I know!” Eddie shouts back. 

“Oh my God,” Maddie says, turning her back to them and walking across the room to pace. “You’re such an idiot,” she hisses, a hint of laughter in her tone.

“I know,” Eddie says again, emphatically, near hysterically. 

It does nothing but piss Buck off even more, and he snaps his eyes from Maddie to Eddie.

“Is this all some big joke to you guys?” he asks, stunned by their reactions. “Was everyone in on this bet?”

Horror flashes across Eddie’s face. 

“Twenty bucks says you can’t get me into bed on the first date, so you better be quick to prove them wrong?” Buck goes on. “Twenty bucks says I’ll put out—”

“No, no, no!” Eddie rushes out. “No, Buck, not at all.” 

“I even asked you what you meant, Eddie. You said it was nothing but a small bet. ‘But here you are,’” Buck repeats Eddie’s words back to him with air quotes. “‘I win.’ How the hell am I supposed to take _that_? You made me feel disgusting,” Buck says through gritted teeth. “You made me feel _used_.” 

“Buck—”

“And I’m used to people only wanting sex from me, Eddie. I’m used to being nothing more than a body to people. I’ve been over-sexualized by everyone of all ages and all genders since I hit fucking puberty. I don’t mind when people just want a good lay. I mind when it’s my best fucking friend, the person I trust most in this world, who lies to me about their intentions and—”

Eddie surges forward and grabs Buck’s face between his hands, and for a split second, Buck thinks Eddie’s going to _kiss_ him— thinks he might actually punch Eddie if he thinks that is the solution. 

But Eddie presses their foreheads together and wipes a stray tear from Buck’s cheek that he didn’t realize had fallen. 

“You are worth more to me than what you can offer me in bed,” Eddie begins. “You are worth more to me than twenty stupid dollars. If you told me now that you never want to have sex again, I would still love you and want you as you are because that’s not what has always made our relationship special to me.”

Buck sniffles and shakes his head. “But the bet—”

“Less of a bet,” Eddie corrects, “and more of a _let’s make Eddie’s pockets hurt if he doesn’t ask Buck out already_.”

“Chim’s words,” Maddie says. 

Buck pulls away from Eddie, but Eddie’s hands don’t leave his body, instead, they fall to rest gently on Buck’s arms. 

“Hen and Chim have been trying to get Eddie to ask you out for weeks now,” she goes on. “Chim got sick of it this week and made some stupid joke about being a relationship counselor. If Eddie didn’t ask you out by the end of the week, he owed Chim—”

“Twenty bucks,” Buck says, eyelids falling shut as he pictures it. It sounds so like Chim, too. 

“For every week that he didn’t ask you out,” Maddie finishes. 

“And if I did it before the end of the week,” Eddie adds, “he’d give me twenty dollars toward our date.”

Buck hangs his head in embarrassment. “So the twenty dollars was never for getting in my pants?” 

“Never,” Eddie assures him. “I’m just an idiot who said not even half of the story while I was nearly asleep. I wasn’t even planning on telling you about that last night. Hell, I didn’t even plan on having sex with you, but… it felt right.”

Eddie’s hands slide down to Buck’s waist.

“You were there, and it didn’t feel like a first date. It felt like we were finally catching up to where we were always supposed to be. It didn’t feel like you were dropping me off at home, it felt like _we_ were coming home.”

“It did,” Buck murmurs. “God, I’m so stupid,” he says as he realizes the drama he’s created. “I’m—”

“Don’t,” Eddie says. “Don’t say you’re sorry because that was a huge misunderstanding. I don’t blame you for leaving. Hell, I’d have left, too.” 

Buck smiles in spite of the events that have taken place. A part of his chest still aches as he comes to terms with the truth and that no matter what he’d felt last night, it was all wrong.

From beside them, Maddie smiles. 

“Well, I guess this is my cue to head out,” she says. 

Buck’s head shoots up and he shakes his head. “No, you don’t—”

“No, no,” Maddie says softly. “If you guys are okay, or unless you need me, I should head out and let you guys talk more in private.”

Buck appreciates the offer and nods. “Thanks for coming to check on me,” he adds.

“Well, what are big sisters for?” She winks at him then turns to Eddie. “Take care of him, okay? I don’t want to ruin your pretty face, and being pregnant won’t hold me back.”

Eddie nods, though he knows that she’s joking to some extent. But she doesn’t need to worry because the last thing he wants to do is hurt Buck. He already feels so terrible for this huge misunderstanding.

In the next minute, Maddie is already out of the door and shutting it behind her.

“I’m sorry, too,” Buck says to Eddie once the door has been locked. “For leaving you,” he quickly clarifies when it looks like Eddie is going to say something about him apologizing. “It didn’t make sense— the bet— in comparison to everything you’d said last night, but you have to know that it’s also what I’m used to. Every person who came before you has used me until they no longer needed me or I was more of an inconvenience than a convenience.”

“It’s a self-preservation thing. It was just easier for me to cut my losses while I was ahead so I could start trying to heal from the pain.” 

Eddie looks down, and Buck can’t tell if it’s because he’s upset over what happened or if it’s because of his own hurt, leftover from waking up alone and being accused of using him. Buck knows what it’s like to be in his shoes, to have someone think the worst of your actions. 

“It’s not like I was expecting this from _you_ ,” Buck goes on. “It’s because this is a pattern that I’m used to. In college, there were times I thought I made real connections with people, and they bought me dinner only to have sex with me then dip out of my life. Ali left the second our relationship wasn’t smooth sailing, and I still can’t help but wonder if she just liked having fun with me and that’s it. She and I were together longer than even Abby and I were, and she never gave me anything to show she was committed. She traveled a lot for work, yeah, but when she was in town she never came to anything with the team that I invited her to. She didn’t come to see me after Maddie was hurt— just checked in.”

Eddie’s eyes widen in surprise at that. He supposes he never thought about Ali at the time. He never wondered where she was, even though he knew Buck was seeing her, because she just hadn’t seemed like a significant part of his life.

“I trust you, Eddie,” Buck says, breaking Eddie from his train of thought. “I’m just used to it being the people I trust who hurt me the most.”

“Look,” Eddie sighs, “I can’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt that you thought I would do that to you.”

 _Knew it_ , Buck thinks.

“But I understand that people haven’t treated you well in the past… have betrayed your trust.” Eddie takes Buck's hand in his. “So we meet halfway,” he proposes. “If I do anything that ever makes you feel like your trust has been broken, or if you ever feel I’m misleading you, you tell me. And we clear that shit up right away.”

Buck nods, immediately agreeing.

“I know it’s not going to be easy,” Eddie says, “but we gotta do that. It’s okay if you can’t automatically believe I’d never hurt you because of your past, but try to have enough trust to doubt that I would.”

Buck smiles at him. “I think I can do that,” he says. 

“Then, are we good?” Eddie asks, stepping closer to Buck and bringing his arms around his waist.

“We’re fucking perfect,” Buck says. 

When their lips meet in a soft kiss, the last of his heartache slips away. In Eddie’s arms, he feels safe. It encompasses him, ridding the cold that had settled in his bones and making him warm once again. 

Eddie had been angry, rightfully so, but he’d still been worried about Buck and hadn’t wanted to leave him hurting. And Eddie understands why he’d jumped to conclusions and made assumptions. It’s something Buck will have to work on, but he’s thankful that Eddie is willing to work with him on it. It feels good to know that he won’t just walk away when things get hard. 

“Now,” Buck says as he pulls away, “you get your butt up to my bed.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows as a grin spreads on his face. “Oh?”

“Mhm,” Buck hums as he pulls Eddie in for one last kiss. “I think I owe you some breakfast in bed.”

“ _Oh_ , that’s what I’m talking about.”

* * *

Buck gets one more text from Maddie that afternoon as he cuddles up to Eddie in bed.

_So are we going to talk about how Eddie said he loved you during his little speech or what?  
_ **Maddie • 12:57 PM**

Wait... _what?_

**Author's Note:**

> ☼ I hope you enjoyed your gift! To all of my other readers, I hope you liked this as well :) I was super excited to write something with this magnitude of misunderstanding bc that makes the best kind of angst 😂
> 
> ☼ Please leave kudos/comments as they encourage me to write more! If you feel I missed necessary story tags please let me know what I should add. If a tag feels inaccurate, please let me know about that as well. 
> 
> ☼ If you actually read these notes, please use this (🍫) emoji in your comment! Even if you don’t have a comment in mind, think of it as some extra kudos that I will appreciate and love! 🥰


End file.
